TLPTP - Make us laugh edition

Winterknight
Winterknight
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pi_80 wrote:Remember: If rum

pi_80 wrote:

Remember:

If rum can't fix it, you're not using enough rum.

Addendum:

Drinking rum before noon doesn't make you an alcoholic, it makes you a pirate.

 

That explains a lot of things.

Shetlanders are not Scottish and therefore don't drink whisky, but they do drink rum.

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
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Oooops, I'm doing the wrong

Oooops, I'm doing the wrong thing. I'm not Scottish and I drink whisky, and my rum is just this :

navy_gin.jpg

.... with another label stuck over it. The punters can't tell. They think it is Dr Mike's Zero-Cholesterol Juice. Speaking of which I saw my own doctor today : my cholesterol is slightly up @ 6.2 and liver function tests are perfectly normal. The likely cause for the latter is too many alcohol free weeks between restrained drinking sessions apparently. That has been flagged as anomalous, on local standards, thus to be reviewed later this year after lifestyle changes. So I need to eat less cheese and drink more booze .... :-)))

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) Just in. I've been contacted by the Department of Booze, Fags, Fish & Chips : I'm letting the side down. The nation needs the excise to stay liquid Ruptured Of The Bank in geostationary orbit solvent. I also need to speed more ( while driving no less ), gamble, and park in the wrong places. Visiting bordellos was also mentioned.

( edit ) Additionally he said I needed to lose about 10kg in weight and exercise regularly ( there's some scientific link b/w the two it seems ). How insulting ! And to a colleague ! I demanded a second opinion. He said I was ugly as well.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

David S
David S
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bedtime

bedtime

David

Miserable old git
Patiently waiting for the asteroid with my name on it.

mikey
mikey
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David S wrote:bedtime Is

David S wrote:
bedtime

Is that beauty sleep time for you too?

David S
David S
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mikey wrote:David S

mikey wrote:
David S wrote:
bedtime

Is that beauty sleep time for you too?

Now that's funny.

David

Miserable old git
Patiently waiting for the asteroid with my name on it.

Winterknight
Winterknight
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Mike said; He said I was

Mike said;

He said I was ugly as well.

We promise not to mention this anymore ;-)

mikey
mikey
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Winterknight wrote:Mike

Winterknight wrote:

Mike said;

He said I was ugly as well.

We promise not to mention this anymore ;-)

I figured it just meant Dr Mike needed more sleep too!

I made my appt with my new for me Dr, some of the neighbors see him and like him, I can't see my old one anymore as he is an 'in plan' Dr only and I have to switch plans due to me moving 300 miles away to a new house. He gave me a one page form to fill out and his Nurse said the appt will be about 45 minutes to go over everything, I'm guessing lots of medical history stuff. I did request digital copies of all the important stuff from my old health care plan, last 10 years, but they haven't sent anything so far.

Chris S
Chris S
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Shetlanders are not

Shetlanders are not Scottish

Excuse me???

Shetland, also called the Shetland Islands, is a subarctic archipelago that lies northeast of the island of Great Britain and forms part of Scotland, United Kingdom.

Shetland is represented in the House of Commons as part of the Orkney and Shetland constituency, which elects one Member of Parliament. In the Scottish Parliament the Shetland constituency elects one Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP) by the first past the post system. Shetland is within the Highlands and Islands electoral region.

I think you could find that they might choose to differ with you.

Oooops, I'm doing the wrong thing. I'm not Scottish and I drink whisky

Possibly. The name Whisky is only correct if it is distilled in Scotland itself. Anything else like in Ireland and elsewhere is more correctly called Whiskey with an e to differentiate it.

I demanded a second opinion. He said I was ugly as well.

The old ones are always the best :-) But as Churchill said, I'll be sober in the morning!

David S wrote:

Now that's funny.

Blimey, put the flags out, David actually found something funny :-)) Must be a dose of Dr Mike's Zero-Cholesterol Juice.

Speaking of which, that gin looks decidedly tasty, I wonder if we can get it over here?

my cholesterol is slightly up @ 6.2

What? I had a rather large rollicking from my company nurse many years ago because mine was "up" to 4.1!! 6.2 I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale :-)

I dunno mumble mumble, turn me back for 5 minutes, grumble, place goes to the dogs, mumble, can't get the staff these days, mumble.

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

mikey
mikey
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Chris S_2 wrote:   my

Chris S_2 wrote:

 

my cholesterol is slightly up @ 6.2

What? I had a rather large rollicking from my company nurse many years ago because mine was "up" to 4.1!! 6.2 I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale :-)

I dunno mumble mumble, turn me back for 5 minutes, grumble, place goes to the dogs, mumble, can't get the staff these days, mumble.

That's the second time recently you guys have posted funny numbers like that...what does the number 6.2 or even 4.1 have to do with Cholesterol? Here in the US  mine is down to 90 TOTAL, both my LDL and HDL, and the Dr cut my Statin drug in half because it's doing so well. We must be using a different scale or measuring something different.

My Diabetes is measured that way and mine is down to 5.9 because of my dietary changes over the last year or so.

TimeLord04
TimeLord04
Joined: 8 Sep 06
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mikey wrote:Chris S_2

mikey wrote:
Chris S_2 wrote:

 

my cholesterol is slightly up @ 6.2

What? I had a rather large rollicking from my company nurse many years ago because mine was "up" to 4.1!! 6.2 I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale :-)

I dunno mumble mumble, turn me back for 5 minutes, grumble, place goes to the dogs, mumble, can't get the staff these days, mumble.

That's the second time recently you guys have posted funny numbers like that...what does the number 6.2 or even 4.1 have to do with Cholesterol? Here in the US  mine is down to 90 TOTAL, both my LDL and HDL, and the Dr cut my Statin drug in half because it's doing so well. We must be using a different scale or measuring something different.

My Diabetes is measured that way and mine is down to 5.9 because of my dietary changes over the last year or so.

Your 5.9 for Diabetes is your A1C Number, Mikey.  When I get my annual physical done, they don't always give me an A1C test in my blood work; they do use the raw sugar level, which was 90 for me last year.  This is good for me, because, I'm on one Bipolar Med that has a side effect of raising blood sugar levels...

Before going on Atkins' Plan, my raw blood sugar levels hit 101 a couple years ago!!!  OH, I forgot to mention that my numbers are WITH Metformin in my system.  I take the Metformin due to the complications and side effect of the Bipolar Med!  Uncontrolled, the Bipolar Med could really do some damage to my blood sugar levels, and, (combined with the routine corticosteroids that I take for my asthma), could cause Diabetes in me.

My next physical is on the 27th of this month.  Wish me well.

 

TL

TimeLord04
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