TLPTP - Make us laugh edition

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
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If you like. But then again

If you like. But they already know this to be true, because I told them directly in person. I'm not keen to do unpaid work for the bank management/shareholders. If they can't be bothered, directly or indirectly, to take an interest in such topics then so be it. Sux to be them, all the way through to the under the bus bit .... :-)

In any event I don't do loan application fees on any timeline. If they can't compete on product value to me, as distinct from their chosen internal processing methodology, then so be it. Hence they manage their own overheads as they please. Like I care. Not my garden to weed !

We probably have different banking experiences, and no doubt different local choices. I had a guy who said they had an annual account fee, which just happened to be proportional to the amount outstanding. He seriously thought that I wouldn't spot that as being just an effective/additional interest rate being applied, attempting disguise as an administrative item. Ok ! So that was another 'thanks for your time' ... :-)

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) DownUnda almost all significant loans ( mortgages etc ) for a natural person ( not corporate lending ) have neither initial nor ongoing fees ie. outside of the principal/interest repay components. So the interest obtained is what the bank then deducts its costs from to obtain nett shareholder profit for some given contract. The reason is simple : after the eighties and definitely the mid-nineties most of us have just kept 'walking on by' as I describe. Banks by then had totally lost any available pretense of social utility. What I describe is a polite, simple & very time-efficient way to probe the market for customer value. In fact, not radically different from how you would treat a ring of bookies at the racetrack ( seeking best odds toward a given betting stance ). Never pity the bookies ..... 

Fees I will pay for are, say, valuation of my asset. That's definitely my responsibility. No problem. So me and the bank jointly decide who may be ( independently ) fit to do that service, this being no great trouble. Then the valuation documents are, and remain, mine for some other purpose too.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

MAGIC Quantum Mechanic
MAGIC Quantum M...
Joined: 18 Jan 05
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I have had my own personal

I have had my own personal bank here on my 5 acres for over 30 years and am the only one that has ever seen it or knows how much is in it.

I started out with a gallon plastic jar until I retired and switched over to two metal coffee containers and each one is slightly larger than a autographed picture of Ben Franklin......one is full and the other is 4/5ths full.

It is amazing how many Ben Franklin pictures you can hold in one hand Cool

My bank only has one security guard with a 50 caliber Desert Eagle Tongue Out

mikey
mikey
Joined: 22 Jan 05
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MAGIC Quantum Mechanic

MAGIC Quantum Mechanic wrote:

I have had my own personal bank here on my 5 acres for over 30 years and am the only one that has ever seen it or knows how much is in it.

I started out with a gallon plastic jar until I retired and switched over to two metal coffee containers and each one is slightly larger than a autographed picture of Ben Franklin......one is full and the other is 4/5ths full.

It is amazing how many Ben Franklin pictures you can hold in one hand Cool

My bank only has one security guard with a 50 caliber Desert Eagle Tongue Out

Are you sure that he's not a 'security monitor' to let you know there's a robbery in progress? The gun could be strictly to deter idiots, not to actually stop something in progress. Kind of like a padlock, used to keep honest people honest.

I use a bank for my mortgage, two at the moment but hopefully back to just one soon, and an investment banker to keep me from going broke. I don't like the idea of outliving my money and since they are paid by how much money is in the account they are incentivized to make me even more money. BUT I do give them limits on the types of investments they can do, no pie eyed 3 bazillion percent interest ventures for me!! I just don't want to LOSE money, I want to take money out every month and at the end of the year make enough to cover that plus a little bit more, so I'm slightly gaining to cover inflation etc. So far in 4 years they are doing just fine!! I do try to keep the money they send me to a minimum so they can keep the investments less risky and more stable.

I also have a checking account but do NOT have a savings account anywhere except for one bank that has an ATM about a block from my house. I put $1000 into that account and it is for emergencies only, it is the minimum to not pay any fees and also gave me a safety deposit box too that I put my car title in etc. When I take money out of it, I deposit some back in from my checking account that's in a credit union that pays me interest to keep my money with them.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
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I think that the bottom line

I think that the bottom line here is that we all view banks as a necessary evil. They do us no favours and we thoroughly dislike them. It simply isn't practical in the 21C to put your money under the mattress like Great Granny did, so we are a captured audience in a captured market to an extent. They know you can shop around, but is there a behind the scenes cartel??? You might very well ask. About time someone did.

The Bank of England decides the bankrate, which in turn decides the individual bank rates. So who talks to whom?

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Mike Hewson
Mike Hewson
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Joined: 1 Dec 05
Posts: 6588
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I reckon that The Nobel Prize

I reckon that The Nobel Prize for Economics is proof that Alfred had a sense of humor. :-))

As for the other stuff : it's allegedly a system of trust. We use fiat ( assumed value ) currencies like paper or electronically stored but validated digits to made trades more convenient. So I wake up this morning believing that I might swap this pleasant looking piece of portable artwork : 

fiver.jpg

for a cup of coffee. I did actually do that & so the caffeine flows on a Friday. You know, I think Queen Lizzies' left eyebrow is slightly raised, as in : who you lookin' at ! :-)

Cheers, Mike.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...

... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal

David S
David S
Joined: 6 Dec 05
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Yawn.

Yawn.

David

Miserable old git
Patiently waiting for the asteroid with my name on it.

Chris S
Chris S
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That is not cery polite

That is not very polite David!

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

JumpinJohnny
JumpinJohnny
Joined: 4 Apr 13
Posts: 138
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A diplomat is someone who can

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Chris S
Chris S
Joined: 27 Aug 05
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Credit: 19550265
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The classic put down question

The classic put down question is

"Have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

We don't have family we have the outlaws.

 

@Mike, I think our queen was saying "You wanna be a republic? Dream on!"

Here she is saying "Ha! that told them!"

 
UK205.jpg

 

 

On the Obverse Sir Winston is saying "I told you not to let the colonies have independence, now look at the world!"

 

 
520-202_1.jpg

 

And as for a cup of coffee, you'd be lucky to get a pint of beer in London with one of those!

 

 

Waiting for Godot & salvation :-)

Why do doctors have to practice?
You'd think they'd have got it right by now

Bill592
Bill592
Joined: 25 Feb 05
Posts: 786
Credit: 70825065
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Chris S_2 wrote: On the

Chris S_2 wrote:

On the Obverse Sir Winston is saying "I told you not to let the colonies have independence, now look at the world!"

 One of the very few U.S. Navy Warships ever named after a non American citizen Smile

Bill

USS Winston S. Churchill

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Winston_S._Churchill

 

 

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