I have done as you have suggested, but there seems to be a problem. Every cat i have washed in the toilet (as mentioned below) and dried in the microwaveoven (I am always in a hurry) with the select position "very super dry" exploded with a loud "Boom" and is leaving a houge mess that i have to clean afterwards. Is it possible that i use too much power? What should i do? Use lesser time to dry? Please help me ! I have just five cats left.
I have done as you have suggested, but there seems to be a problem. Every cat i have washed in the toilet (as mentioned below) and dried in the microwaveoven (I am always in a hurry) with the select position "very super dry" exploded with a loud "Boom" and is leaving a houge mess that i have to clean afterwards. Is it possible that i use too much power? What should i do? Use lesser time to dry? Please help me ! I have just five cats left.
Best regards
Sorry, but you fell into the trap of an urban myth, vonHalenbach. Even with a carousel inside rotating the cat continuously, a cat (or any other creature such as a lizard, gerbil or poodle [the myth I originally heard]) will inevitably explode in much the same manner as an egg or plump sausage.
It is strongly suspected that this microwave myth was started and promlugated in the mid 1970s by a small but determined cell of terrorist dogs bent on the elimination of the species Felis catus with further long range plans of disrupting the normal lives of Lynx rufus, Lynx lynx and Lynx canadensis. Known as the World Organization Objecting to Felines (WOOF), these angry canines have existed and thrived largely unknown except among elite dog catcher forces and black ops veterinary deep cover teams. WOOFs success is a matter of much debate.
Later in the early to mid 1980s, several radical dog splinter groups determined that house cats, Lynx and Bobcats were too small to be bothered with and determined to go after Panthera tigris, Panthera leo and Panthera concolor. Realizing early in their planning stage that microwave ovens were not likely ever to be built of adequate size to contain such large creatures and further that it was extremely unlikely that anyone could be coerced into attempting to dry one in such a manner, the splinter group, known as the Revolutionary Underground Force against Felines (RUFF), em"bark"ed on a bold plan.
Their dedicated goal became to convince the world through rumor and drunken bar conversation that if one encountered any of the Large Cats it should be immediately shot with a tranquilizer dart, wetted and shampooed for its health against biting and burrowing insects, then rinsed thoroughly and dried in large industrial sized tumble-style clothes dryers.
So far their plan has met with no success at all except for one isolated case when a novice zoo employee in San Diego panicked after accidentally spilling a bucket of cage scrapings on a sleeping Bengal Tiger. Reports indicate that the tiger wasn't awakened by the foul dousing and so the employee decided to cover his mistake by following instructions whispered to him by a Pekingese while lying mostly passed out in an alleyway behind a bar near the San Diego Zoo.
It was later discovered that RUFF's west coast headquarters was cleverly located near that bar due to its proximity to the zoo (thus having a greater chance to attract zoo employees) and its reputation of over-serving its clientele. The Pekingese, later captured and identified as Shake and Piss Razortooth, committed suicide by eating a poisoned bacon flavored doggie treat he had secreted in a hidden compartment of his tiny spiked collar.
No, vonHalenbach, the preferred methods of drying a damp cat are to either tether it to the roof of your car and drive at high speed for no less than 1/2 hour or to firmly collar it, attach a leash of 4' or longer and swing it around your head outside for as long as 20, but no less than 10 minutes.
Signed,
Pitricio "Pit" Bullkowski
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
When life throws your grapes, throw them back. When life throws you tomatoes, throw them back, when life throws you lettuce, throw it back, when life throws it all at you at once, stomp on it all and just say the hell with it, and go make yourself a sandwich.
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "FEAR," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use sub space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your "ex" your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
FEAR will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current partner behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your VISA card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of FEAR. It reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
FEAR will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
AND PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
RE: Be sure and dry a wet
)
I have done as you have suggested, but there seems to be a problem. Every cat i have washed in the toilet (as mentioned below) and dried in the microwaveoven (I am always in a hurry) with the select position "very super dry" exploded with a loud "Boom" and is leaving a houge mess that i have to clean afterwards. Is it possible that i use too much power? What should i do? Use lesser time to dry? Please help me ! I have just five cats left.
Best regards
Within every optimist, there
)
Within every optimist, there is a pessimist trying to get out and conversely, without every pessimist, there is an optimist trying to get in.
RE: RE: Be sure and dry a
)
Sorry, but you fell into the trap of an urban myth, vonHalenbach. Even with a carousel inside rotating the cat continuously, a cat (or any other creature such as a lizard, gerbil or poodle [the myth I originally heard]) will inevitably explode in much the same manner as an egg or plump sausage.
It is strongly suspected that this microwave myth was started and promlugated in the mid 1970s by a small but determined cell of terrorist dogs bent on the elimination of the species Felis catus with further long range plans of disrupting the normal lives of Lynx rufus, Lynx lynx and Lynx canadensis. Known as the World Organization Objecting to Felines (WOOF), these angry canines have existed and thrived largely unknown except among elite dog catcher forces and black ops veterinary deep cover teams. WOOFs success is a matter of much debate.
Later in the early to mid 1980s, several radical dog splinter groups determined that house cats, Lynx and Bobcats were too small to be bothered with and determined to go after Panthera tigris, Panthera leo and Panthera concolor. Realizing early in their planning stage that microwave ovens were not likely ever to be built of adequate size to contain such large creatures and further that it was extremely unlikely that anyone could be coerced into attempting to dry one in such a manner, the splinter group, known as the Revolutionary Underground Force against Felines (RUFF), em"bark"ed on a bold plan.
Their dedicated goal became to convince the world through rumor and drunken bar conversation that if one encountered any of the Large Cats it should be immediately shot with a tranquilizer dart, wetted and shampooed for its health against biting and burrowing insects, then rinsed thoroughly and dried in large industrial sized tumble-style clothes dryers.
So far their plan has met with no success at all except for one isolated case when a novice zoo employee in San Diego panicked after accidentally spilling a bucket of cage scrapings on a sleeping Bengal Tiger. Reports indicate that the tiger wasn't awakened by the foul dousing and so the employee decided to cover his mistake by following instructions whispered to him by a Pekingese while lying mostly passed out in an alleyway behind a bar near the San Diego Zoo.
It was later discovered that RUFF's west coast headquarters was cleverly located near that bar due to its proximity to the zoo (thus having a greater chance to attract zoo employees) and its reputation of over-serving its clientele. The Pekingese, later captured and identified as Shake and Piss Razortooth, committed suicide by eating a poisoned bacon flavored doggie treat he had secreted in a hidden compartment of his tiny spiked collar.
No, vonHalenbach, the preferred methods of drying a damp cat are to either tether it to the roof of your car and drive at high speed for no less than 1/2 hour or to firmly collar it, attach a leash of 4' or longer and swing it around your head outside for as long as 20, but no less than 10 minutes.
Signed,
Pitricio "Pit" Bullkowski
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
Smile everywhere you go.
)
Smile everywhere you go. After they put you in the hospital you can expalain you are just a happy person.
Practice your onversational
)
Practice your onversational skills in the local park. Try talking to the trees.
Don't shave with a lawn
)
Don't shave with a lawn mower.
RE: Don't shave with a lawn
)
- you are liable to suffer strain or sprain injuries......
When life throws your grapes,
)
When life throws your grapes, throw them back. When life throws you tomatoes, throw them back, when life throws you lettuce, throw it back, when life throws it all at you at once, stomp on it all and just say the hell with it, and go make yourself a sandwich.
Face the future bravely, have
)
Face the future bravely, have your wife walk in front of you.
FEAR Virus alert If you
)
FEAR Virus alert
If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "FEAR," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use sub space field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your "ex" your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
FEAR will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current partner behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your VISA card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of FEAR. It reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
FEAR will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.
AND PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
QUICKLY!!!