Gravity Wave Detection Club

Er yup. I must get out more..... ;-)

So, what is this, huh? :-)

I evaporate for a mere 6 months and it all goes to the pack... :-)

I've got a pile of discarded hammocks here, some physics journals, pizza boxes, a whole skip full of aluminium drink cans, a large array of white stones which seem to spell 'SOS' .... impact craters, the smoking wreckage of a VCR , one embarrassed looking horse, a neat sign that says 'Here be dragons ...' dangling from a table with various burnt out CPU cores on top. No police tape however ( this time ) ......

C'mon, look lively crew, 1! 2! 3! 4! Jarheads, whose gunna clean this up....!!

cadence ....

I dunno, but I've been told!
gravity waves are very old ...
we won't hear them if we're slack
so in the hammocks and get on track!

1! 2! 3! 4! who are we gunna detect for!

I dunno, but it's hearsay
gravity waves are passing every day ....
whether the black hole's near or far
we want the vibes right in the jar!

1! 2! 3! 4! who are we gunna crunch for!

I dunno, but it's been said
gravity waves are easily read
so tune that IFO to the sky
and catch them as they're going by!

1! 2! 3! 4! who are we gunna upload for!

Now Move It, Squad ... and make up your own darn cadences ....

So I want two detection arms like before, this time with a right-angle in between. Oh, and straight lines would help also, you can use my Minkowski Metric ruler for that. Dangle the excess/empty cans together from the hammock sides, that way the clashing is bound to wake someone up when the waves arrive. No one is allowed in without knowing the direction of the local gravity gradient ( you will be quizzed on this ) and definitely no-one who thinks that 'anti-symmetric' is a verb. Furthermore random polls will be taken to quantify the average mental state, and I do mean mental, and if that goes negative then some complex numbers will be used ( or at least some fairly difficult ones ).

Now, while I am definitely not Santa, have you all been good? Could I have balanced a fragile teacup upon pole around here for the last six months and not have it unduly disturbed? Please advise ..... :-)

Cheers, Mike.

NB. For what it's worth, it's good to be back. Real Life has settled well, and I will enjoy your dear company again .. :-)

Rod, you flaming ball of gas, do something useful for the cause like, errr .... go and collide with something pretty enormous to get spacetime wiggling! Nearby for preference, as we need a good signal or three! :-)

Kath, give me the names and addresses of those recalcitrants, and I'll send Dinsey 'round with the boys to give 'em the wot-for and some double-'eck! Congrats on the bump upstairs by the way, but remember we druids, whoops moderators, only meet every 3rd Sidereal Month at Stonehenge ...... BYO astrolabe & chicken entrails ..... :-)

Esme my dear, you have changed while I was away! You were part of the Periodic Table last time I looked, and in Nobel Prize winning company too! Whatever happened? :-)

Enough of this casual banter, the time's a wastin' .... back to the hammocks ... the last one in is a rotten egg! Charge! :-)

[ and I get the first dibs on the pizza delivery ... you did order pizza, right? ]

Cheers, Mike.