Cafe Einstein: LPTP #12

Lewis Hamilton.

F1 result

Thanks Chris. Great article. :-)

Back at the top, and WINNING!!!!! :-)

Re IHTPDP : Now that I stare at it for longer ( my standard come-hither-inspiration technique ) the green railway tracks from near the lower left intersection of err ... the coordinate axes .... going toward the upper right appears to be the batting plate to first base line of baseball/softball/rounders ... ?

But that, alas, means the question mark in the circle is first base and hence we are no where near it. So Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more :

Robert Brown of Brownian Motion fame

@MAGIC : we call those shots 'frog burners' DownUnda ( or 'cane toad clippers' in Queensland particularly ). We also have 'sand scrapes' ie. golf courses with no green elements*, usually found in - no surprise - water challenged desert country. Of which we have no shortage. You have to like sand to play this golf variety, but that's assumed. After all if you don't like sand then what are you doing living in desert country ?

Cheers, Mike.

* well there might be some green carpet in the club rooms or green drinks coasters at the 19th. That sort of thing.

Long Boring Golf Anecdote Alert

When I wuz young*, with my lumbar discs un-ruptured, I got down to +8 handicap on the sand. Mind you that could have been the club's handicappers being kind to the young local doctor though.

Now the best and most funnest round of golf I ever had was 'night four-ball'. You play in groups of four players, but with a single ball per group hit in succession by different players in the group in some pattern of rotation. The groups and play sequence is determined randomly when everyone turns up. For the times I played we easily had over 10 groups of four playing nine holes. The playing sequence persists b/w holes so that you can't use a good driving player off the tee all the time, it will be whom-so-ever comes after the one who putted in on the most recent hole. This event is held in the late evening, say past 10pm and usually in high summer when it is too hot to sleep until 2am anyway. A full moon for preference. One uses special balls that have a cylindrical slot through the centre into which you place an exact fitting chemical glow stick. So you have some hope of finding them. It's best to give different color glow sticks to different groups. The other feature/advantage is only having one set of clubs per group to drag around. Which leaves at least another set of hands to carry the drinks cooler.

[ I was always made very welcome for such occasions, at least I think because of my utility in the case of snake bite. Assuming I wasn't the bitten one that is. One uses the end of a club when fiddling around and displacing the leaf litter etc to find the ball. A low iron is best as it is a better chopping tool in the case of Snake Surprise. In retrospect I certainly could have carried the antivenin along in with the drinkies. Just be careful what you reach for and take a swig of ... :-) ]

There were special play rules related to nocturnal animal hazards, and quite severe penalties for couples dallying in the scrub 'trying to find a lost ball'. Torches were allowed for intermittent use only as that allegedly ruins night vision, and we needed to remove that effect from the list of excuses. Some gag prizes were awarded but in general the answer to the question 'who won ?' was 'who cares ?'. :-)

Cheers, Mike.

* this was in a geological period coming after the dinosaurs but before modern day, now officially called 'The NineteenEighties Error'. Those that have dug down to the relevant stratum have found objects called "fantastic black plastic" ( a type of music emitting discoid ), hair braided into a shape called "the Mullet" ( though curiously not resembling any known fish ), something described as "ABBA" ( references are unsure here, but probably a Scandinavian viral strain ), not forgetting "AC/DC" ( a type of rhythmic power source that tribal youth would literally plug their skulls into ), and finally mythic beings called 'TinaTurner' ( Goddess of Horse Thighs ) and 'BlondieFirstTimeAround' ( The Atomic Goddess ) .

( edit ) I should say the main boon of 'night four-ball' was that any skill whatsoever in playing golf was not required, and even any accidental or vague prowess was heavily frowned upon. Those known to be able to deliberately guide the path of a golf ball were not subsequently invited if they displayed such tendencies. However there were contentious instances where good shots were played, allegedly 'fluked', and thus required the match committee to intervene & adjudicate on that likelihood. The minimum penalty applied was payment for the drinks of the others, so there were some very sore and sorry points of order raised. I found it best to ensure that no attention was paid to myself in such regard, which fortunately required no effort at all to remain in the stewards' Category Q : "evidently & completely lacking talent".

( edit ) I am going on aren't I ? An oddly quiet Monday afternoon. I should be completely honest and state that while I had no golfing talent, I believed that I did. Apparently I was not alone in suffering this Golfing Ability Psychosis. GAP is common in young adult males, often in professional categories of occupation, and almost always associated with failure in other areas of life that males would prefer to succeed at eg. shark wrestling, space travel and wild pig guillotining. Sufferers typically strut around golf links in highly expensive attire with accouterments muttering "what would Greg Norman do in this situation ?", while utterly missing the obvious reposte "Nothing. He wouldn't have gotten into this situation". The only known cures ( though not very specific ) are Father Time, Death, Taxation and The Wife. My wife was very gentle with me : she did flatly refuse to have me put down when that was offered, albeit with mumblings about un-retired mortgages.

I am devastated. The Nathalia Golf Club that I referred to as a 'sand-scrape' has, within the space of a mere 20 years, had water added to it :

I would have bought the 'desert' camo balls, and to no avail !

Cheers, Mike.

( edit ) Look ! There are quite alot of trees. Who would think that some regular watering would do that in such a brief time interval ?